FUNNY,SEXY,AND JUST PLAIN DIRTY TEX MESSAGE'S

[shekoala]

SO WHAT WHEN WERE HOW NOW BROWN COW ...
so eres your chance to get those dirty or even funny tex messages out n about.....................
Heres mine

sing a song of bum sex an ass full of cum 4&20 fat cocks forced up yer bum. when the orgy is over & your bum begins to sting.
wasnt it a bad idea to take it up the ring............


lmao
from weavy

[weavy]

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh
and creates a foamy liquid as it thrust's
in and out
up and down
cant wait till next time..
GOD i love my toothbrush


from freestyle
lmao :PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP:)~~~~~~

(Edited by weavy at 8:51 pm on Oct. 22, 2001)

[zara]

Ok heres few I got back home..

"I'm not as hairy as Robert De Niro,not as strong as Arnold Schwarzenegger and not as handsome as Mel Gibson...but I lick like Lassie.."

"Hi,I'm very shy but I'd still like to have hot sex with ya...If ur interested u dont have to say a word...just smile"

"When u open this mssg,a sexvirus has trasferred trough ur thumb to ur brain and is just fuckin a mite in ur ear...U like it ´cos u smile..."

"At this very moment 0.35% of the population are having sex.And what r u doing?Pluckin with ur phone!!GET A LIFE!!!!!"

sent by friends in Finland...

[frisky]

I gotta get me a farken phone!!! :biggrin:

[bonnie0908]

not all that dirty but...

Jack and jill both popped a pill, and needed a drink of water - they danced til dawn, fucked like porn, like all good ravers orta!

[Opiate]

Quote: from zara on 9:48 pm on Oct. 22, 2001

"At this very moment 0.35% of the population are having sex.And what r u doing?Pluckin with ur phone!!GET A LIFE!!!!!"

I would have thought there would be more than that.

[geisha]

heheh

dirty text messages http://www.teknoscape.com.au/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[zara]

I got more..!!!

"yesterday I tried to write u a mssg but all I could write was :n0h &#36&#36iw !.....I didn't understand what it ment until I looked it upside down...http://www.teknoscape.com.au/forums/images/smilies/images/smilies/smile.gif.."

"God created world in SIX days...but it took him centuries..to come up with someone..as HOT..as SEXY...as FUCKABLE...as YOU!"

"If u cry,I cry..If u laugh,I laugh..If ur happy,I am too..If ur sad,I am too..if ur horny,call me!"

"i like ur style...i like ur class..but most of all i like ur ass.."

"if I had a penny everytime I thought of u..I'd still miss u but at least I'll be rich!"

That's a start,aye?

[PHORIC]

People keep sending me MasterCard Msgs - there hella funny.

[geisha]

i have a mastercard...


i was sadly sucked in by the slick advertising those clever bastards at McCann Erickson came up with. BAH!!!


and the pantene ads too....i was sucked in by that as well.


the worst bit is...i STUDY advertising and i am still falling victim to it!

[zara]

Quote: from Opiate on 9:28 am on Oct. 23, 2001

Quote: from zara on 9:48 pm on Oct. 22, 2001

"At this very moment 0.35% of the population are having sex.And what r u doing?Pluckin with ur phone!!GET A LIFE!!!!!"

I would have thought there would be more than that.


Ur right...I think its 60%..so if u send that,change the prosents..http://www.teknoscape.com.au/forums/images/smilies/images/smilies/smile.gif..

[Unit]

You're such a sucker Geisha... but that's why we love ya

http://www.teknoscape.com.au/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[weavy]

some one

misses you

needs you

worries about you

wants to be with you

cares about you



and it aint me bitch..............


from a friend in the UK

[Ed Hoover]

Not really relevant nEmore;

Mary had a little lamb, she called it little Ralph,
but now he's burning in a field because of Foot & Mouth!

[g8crashA]

I am a little girl
I have a little thing
when I go to bed
I put my finger in
now I am much older
my thing has lost its charm
now it takes 5 fingers
and half my fucking arm


sex, drugs, rock & rave
lets get smashed and misbehave
on speed and weed and little e's
lets get fucked and talk to trees
life is life and then you die
so fuck 'em all and lets get high

[Bex]

last night i wanted you, i needed you so badly it hurt, i wanted to taste you, wanted you in me to work you magic on me...but i couldnt find you...











YOU STUPID PANADOL!

[Xtreem]

I have a ball pit at my house
wanna come over and have my balls hit your chin??

oh, actually, that a pick up line and a half!! huuhuh

[h4rd5t3pp4]

I feel like I’ve missed out on something! I've never received any of these dirty messages. Is this predominantly a guy thing then?

[glitch]

Maybe you don't know enough dirty people

[zara]

Quote: from h4rd5t3pp4 on 6:34 pm on Oct. 24, 2001
I feel like I’ve missed out on something! I've never received any of these dirty messages. Is this predominantly a guy thing then?


Or maybe u ain't dirty enuff..http://www.teknoscape.com.au/forums/images/smilies/images/smilies/wink.gif..

[weavy]

Do you take me to be you'r Lawfully
Fuckable
sexmate 2 fuck and 2 suck,
in 69ers and doggy styles,
Till the condom do us part !

[Fluid20]

okay i just got sent this one today.......
singasonga syphilis a fanny fulla crabs 4n20 blackheads twice as many crabs when the scabs pop open heads begin to sing wasnt it a dirty c**t to stick your penis in........sorry i dont do the c**t word aagggghhh it is so disgusting

[Cool McCool]

You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence and a sexy smile. You've got the face and you've got the body..and I've got the wrong fucken number..SORRY!


sent to me by an exboyfriend (how ironic)

[frisky]

OK, I just got myself a (WAP enabled) phone and spent the last hour unsuccessfully looking for a site where I can download some dirty pictures to send to my girl in Perth... can anyone help??? The dirtier the better http://www.teknoscape.com.au/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[aleks]

last night i wanted you, i needed you so badly it hurt, i wanted to taste you, wanted you in me to work you magic on me...but i couldnt find you...











YOU STUPID PANADOL!
lol


B U M P

what with cell phones being all the rage and all nowadays...some of u must have some corkers

[dannncer]

All mine arent dirty messages as in poems and that they just plain dirty shit written to one another before catching up!!:inlove:

[Starma]

Why send txt messages I just send picture messages.. A picture speaks a 1000 words but words mean nothing when you send a pic of yourself naked to your missus only to see her jaw drop... I think i have said too much.. :p
Id post some of my pic messages but I swore to never post another naked/semi naked pic of myself on TS again! :)

[BeckStaR]

i got the following jk sms sent to me awhile back anyways goes like this.

3 Advantages to getting a $50 note tattooed on your cock.

1) You can watch your money grow
2) You can play with your money &
3) Your girlfriend can blow as much money as she wants

[dannncer]

Messages from a friend when she was drunk in order

"no one is as good as you or me"
"fuck yeah!"
"Im still drunk aha"
"You always got a grin on your face"
"Ill grin your face"
"Ooh that sounds good haha"
"I want bed"

ahhaha
and I got one from my mum the other day when I was on the train
"the guy next to you is an alien, he is about to blow snot rays at you"

I actually looked at the guy next to me lol

[sketch]

1st one sucks
2nd one is very lol

[smooth_ann]

A friend of mine got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients.. it's a shame because he's a really good vet.

[Halu]

lol Kelly. Only people I found in my inbox having sent dirty stuff are Anton and Will, i'd be interested to see their mail out lists

brats

[dannncer]

ahaha Will, will?
I got plenty of those :laugh:

[Halu]

haha. I bet

[dannncer]

:cool:

nah hes a fukn champ but
blaa

[Paj]

http://www.megomuseum.com/misc/texshot.jpg

[dj_horse]

"let me expalin how im feeling in the fewest possible words.
i want you inside me, then sleeping beside me"


you never seen me get to someones house so fast

[...]

good looks catch the eye but good personality captures the heart. you're blessed with both.
FLATTERED??
Fuck off, it was sent to me, I just wanted u to read it!



what is the perfect engine?
a pussy, why?
because it fits any sized piston,
its self lubricating,
starts with one finger
and does its own oil change every four weeks!



SCAM WARNING!!
when packing your car at asda u may be approached by 2 fit 20year old guys.
they wash your window screen and ask for a lift to the next store as payment.
on the way they strip and reveal 10inch cocks.
then one climbs in front and goes down on you whilst the other nicks your purse!
I had mine stolen last Tuesday and Wednesday...
twice on Thursday, again on Saturday and yesterday,
BE CAREFUL!



Cop on horse days to little girl on bike
"did santa get you that?"
"yep" replies the little girl.
"well tell him to put a refllector light on it next year"
he then fined her £5
the little girl looked up at the cop n said
"nice horse you got there, did santa bring you that?"
the cop chuckles and replies
"he sure did"
"well" said the little girl "next year tell santa the dick goes under the horse not ontop of it"




i want you, i shall seek and find you, i shall take you to bed and have my way with you, i will make you ache, shake, sweat and groan, i will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop, i will exhaust you to the point you will be relieved when im finished with you and you will be weak for days.
all my love THE FLU what were u thinkin u derrty bastard!




the lords prayer
my vibrator brings me to heaven
rabbit is its name
till kingdoms done
it makes me come
on earth with eyes on heaven
give me a daily thrill
and forgive my screams
as i forgive flat batteries
lead me not into temptation
deliver me from frustration
thy is the rotation
the power and the buzzin
forever and ever
no men




first draft of 'i will survive'
at first i was afraid i was petrified
when u said u had 10inches lord i almost died
but id spent so many years just waiting for a man that long
that i grew strong
and i knew i cud take u on...
but there u r
another lie
i was ready for a big mac but u brought me a french fry
i shouldve known it was bullshit
jus a sad pathetic dream
should have known there was no anaconda lurking in them jeans...
go on now go
walk out the door
dont u promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4
werent u a prat to think i wouldnt find you out
dont u know were only jokin when we say size doesnt count
i will survive
coz aslong as i have batteries my sex lifes gna thrive
i wil survive

[heist]

"let me expalin how im feeling in the fewest possible words.
i want you inside me, then sleeping beside me"


you never seen me get to someones house so fast


holy shit

[Orchid]

Hahahaha Horse thats would be a pretty great msg to receive if you were a guy :)

[smooth_ann]

"let me expalin how im feeling in the fewest possible words.
i want you inside me, then sleeping beside me"


you never seen me get to someones house so fast

:laugh: I might store that one away...

[RandomLogik]

i had some messages from someone the other day

"i want to fuck you "

me : "who is this ?

"does it matter ? i want to fuck you. i loved undressing you with my eyes"

me : yeah it does matter because i don't know who you are ??

i stopped replying after that and he sent a few more pictures . he ended up calling me the other night and said "who else would i be, tall guy, dark hair, always at the gbt, your boyfriends an electrician he owes me beers"

it was my friends recent ex, who'd just left for melbourne without telling her :exclamati:0:mad:

i told him he was a fucking prick and hung up on him. then he sent me a picture message with some porn and said "how would you like that you big cry baby "

[THA LOC II]

odd...


Horse, that rules!...

[sketch]

i had some messages from someone the other day

"i want to fuck you "

me : "who is this ?

"does it matter ? i want to fuck you. i loved undressing you with my eyes"

me : yeah it does matter because i don't know who you are ??

i stopped replying after that and he sent a few more pictures . he ended up calling me the other night and said "who else would i be, tall guy, dark hair, always at the gbt, your boyfriends an electrician he owes me beers"

it was my friends recent ex, who'd just left for melbourne without telling her :exclamati:0:mad:

i told him he was a fucking prick and hung up on him. then he sent me a picture message with some porn and said "how would you like that you big cry baby "



lol, what a winnar

[RandomLogik]

"let me expalin how im feeling in the fewest possible words.
i want you inside me, then sleeping beside me"


you never seen me get to someones house so fast

awwww

[flaunt]

sorry to bump this ole chestnut, but it disturbs me that there are sometimes 10+ guests reading this thread, due to high google rank.

ie. http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=dirty+text+messages&btnG=Search&meta=
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=sexy+text+messages&btnG=Search&meta=

(according to our stats, 'dirty text messages' and 'sexy text messages' are some of the most searched for phrases which brings ppl to ts, weve had well over 2000 visitors come to ts so far this month from searching for those phrases in google)

seriously - cant you think of your own sexy/dirty sms messages, and actually have to resort to googling for someone elses tacky txts?

[OSC]

haha.. imagine their disappointment when they read this thread.

[1942]

take your pants off

[Kevin]

sorry to bump this ole chestnut, but it disturbs me that there are sometimes 10+ guests reading this thread, due to high google rank.

ie. http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=dirty+text+messages&btnG=Search&meta=
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=sexy+text+messages&btnG=Search&meta=

(according to our stats, 'dirty text messages' and 'sexy text messages' are some of the most searched for phrases which brings ppl to ts, weve had well over 2000 visitors come to ts so far this month from searching for those phrases in google)

seriously - cant you think of your own sexy/dirty sms messages, and actually have to resort to googling for someone elses tacky txts?

Ha ha. Classic

[hitmonlee]

sorry to bump this ole chestnut, but it disturbs me that there are sometimes 10+ guests reading this thread, due to high google rank.

ie. http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=dirty+text+messages&btnG=Search&meta=
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=sexy+text+messages&btnG=Search&meta=

(according to our stats, 'dirty text messages' and 'sexy text messages' are some of the most searched for phrases which brings ppl to ts, weve had well over 2000 visitors come to ts so far this month from searching for those phrases in google)

seriously - cant you think of your own sexy/dirty sms messages, and actually have to resort to googling for someone elses tacky txts?

i'm surprised anyone can find this thread, half the words in the title are joined, misspelt or have incorrect apostrophes.

i shudder to think that the author of this thread is/was a "journalist".

[Smiley The Ghetto Crack Child]

You have the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth

[flaunt]

stop your grinnin and drop your linen :sleepy:

im still shocked ppl have to search for this shit.
heres a tip: witty texts wont fix ugly!

[voi]

really? awwww.

[dj kobblah]

ive just boutght myself a "racehorse"iam gunna call it "MY FACE!!"ya can just imagine all the girl's at ascot on melbourne cup day as he comes round the last corner screamin ,,,,, C'MON "MYFACE!!!!!!:p

[Burnside]

ive just boutght myself a "racehorse"iam gunna call it "MY FACE!!"ya can just imagine all the girl's at ascot on melbourne cup day as he comes round the last corner screamin ,,,,, C'MON "MYFACE!!!!!!:p

good jesus

[Burnside]

i'm surprised anyone can find this thread, half the words in the title are joined, misspelt or have incorrect apostrophes.

i shudder to think that the author of this thread is/was a "journalist".

Weavy?

He even signed it you know.

[geisha]

i can't imagine receiving a raunchy sms from someone like sideburns.

what a horrifying thought actually :dontgetit

[Burnside]

i can't imagine receiving a raunchy sms from someone like sideburns.

what a horrifying thought actually :dontgetit

speaking of melbourne cup themed sms...

[Kevin]

good jesus

Dunno why but that seriously made me piss myself out loud. Cackling Mutley style

[hitmonlee]

Weavy?

He even signed it you know.

i did take the meaning as being a text message from weavy, as weavy posted directly after.

my other comments still stand :D to quote someone i highly respect;
"journalist my ass"

[the53rdcalypso]

Some text messages found on Eliot Spitzer's phone: http://www.236.com/blog/w/jake_goldman/text_messages_found_on_eliot_s_5045.php
Now that my friends is comedy.

[dart]

. . .why?

[Naughty girlll]

The most difficult golf course in the world is"women hole"
Any style u play,as many shots u try, as much perfection u
Have....u can never get ur balls in ...!;-)

[DizzzeeJungle]

"come home now, i'm feeling sick"

sooo hot ,

[Naughty girlll]

.....Mmm

[Naughty girlll]

"come home now, i'm feeling sick"sooo hot ,Take a HOT shower... ;-)

[The Biz]

Oh Naughty Girlll, you so naughty.

[Naughty girlll]



[The Biz]




She's only been her a day and she's already gotten her box out. Keeper.

[Curare]

So, how long until Dizzee learns that Naughty Girrlllllll is acutally a 53 year old man?

[c_avdas]

'she' has had more profile visits than posts

[Curare]

No doubt concerned citizens ensuring that Dizzee doesn't do himself a mischief too soon.

[c_avdas]

naturally

[mariarules1000]

I got this one

One day two gay homosexuals, Bruce and Bill started to run low on money and they agreed to both go looking for a job. Then next day Bruce comes in and says I have a job but I have to get up early in the morning. So Bruce and Bill cut out their usual sex night that night.

The next morning Bruce gets up and Bill is not around. Then Bruce takes a shower and gets ready to go to work. He comes down stair and sees Bill m*sturbating in a brown paper bag. Bruce says,
"Bill what are you doing?"

Bill reply's "I am packing your lunch!"

[Satan]

guffaw

[OSC]

Did BLERKY send that? If not, there is someone else who just found the internet.

[Satan]

Lol