Tell TS

[Interjecta]

Confucius says man who take woman on camping trip have one intent.

[Nyx]

Also - I did not fuck any married man. I never would. which is precisely why i called him a taxi when he sugested it. But thank you for your input.

That was actually directed at dart, but yes, I did get the impression of bumping uglies from the way you kinda trailed the story off.

The cure to your issue is a new cut and colour and a bunch of one night stands, btw. Choose the ones that compliment you the most, but make sure you don't exchange numbers. Woo, self-esteem boost sans workplace dilemma ahoy!

[Ange]

Confucius says man who take woman on camping trip have one intent.

haha

[s u b u r b a n]

LOL

[heist]

funny story,

a little while ago i deleted a partition on a HDD in my desktop and had to use recovery software to save about 500gig of movies, tv and (a relatively small amount of) porn.

last night, sara's gone to bed and i fire up the media centre and go searching for some soothing american dad to nod off to.... i click into a folder called American Dad Se4, select a file name American Dad SE4EP5 and BLAM, porn... like full on screaming and ass slapping stuff, with the tv at a volume WAY too high for 11pm.

then i think about the disc of United States Of Tara that i burnt for a female co-worker... was it all actually USOT? uh oh....

haha that is awesome.

if you want to hide something, TrueCrypt > filename obfuscation.

[Interjecta]

haha

Confucius say woman who take man on camping trip is sure to have naughty intent.

[Onijin]

I am the proud new owner of a 12 man tent.

all I need now ... 11 men.

<tentatively raises hand>

[Ange]

it was a joke.

Im happy with me and 11 fishing rods.

summer is here <3

[Interjecta]

<tentatively raises hand>

Pattonhawk, get off off Onijin's computer would you.

[Ange]

I can hear you crunching LOUDLY.
You are rudely and disrespectfully loud on the phone.
You stink out the entire office with your microwaved coconut milk
I am fantasising about gaffer taping your mouth shut.
PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Everyone else manages to keep their voice to an acceptable level whilst on the phone.
Everyone else eats their microwaved left overs in kitchen when they know its going to stink.
Everyone else eats with their mouth closed.
You are not everyone else though, are you.
The tolerance gods made you and sent you into the vicinity of this new dungeon office to taunt me until I tolerate.

fucking fuck. Hate this new office. This is driving me MAD. I cant concentrate. Im going to go and strangle some pigeons outside.

[Sway]

im ocd cleaning with my mumsy

(having lunch break mmm salad) muahahaha

[alba]

haha that is awesome.

if you want to hide something, TrueCrypt > filename obfuscation.

i dont hide my porn
its there for all to see

the recovery software obviously got to the porn and forgot what it was supposed to be doing because it was too busy playing with itself

[Onijin]

it was a joke.

Im happy with me and 11 fishing rods.

summer is here <3

Haha, well played.

[angelbel]

I'm not a man but I will go camping with you Ange!

[Ange]

I'm not a man but I will go camping with you Ange!

fuck yeah!

We will require one man though. I mean, who else is going to run across the camp fire or use their rexona as a flame thrower?

[angelbel]

fuck yeah!

We will require one man though. I mean, who else is going to run across the camp fire or use their rexona as a flame thrower?

Do you think we should get the boys to submit their applications for the position of Honorary Camping Token Male?

[Tippy Cup]

I went camping on the w/e. It was one of the best w/e's I've ever had...

Can't wait to go again.

[badr]

I think I am spiralling and I am starting to panic!

I got stupidly drunk and lost control last Tuesday (I NEVER lose control when drinking, ever) and woke up in a co-workers bed. Don't remember how I ended up sleeping with him but I did, despite me having ZERO attraction to him whatsoever. Big blanks for the evening and I always remember everything.

Another guy I know through work is texting and emailing me constantly and flirting VERY inappropriately even though he is married with a young daughter. I am returning the flirting and I dont know why. I didnt start it, but once he had, I definitely reciprocated. And now I can't stop.

I kissed a much older married man a few weeks ago who is a senior director at my work, though thankfully sent him home when he wanted to go further. He invited himself over -we shared a cab, and he jumped out and paid the cab driver before I even knew what was happening. When I asked him what he was doing he said "we will just grab a drink at your house" as the cab had driven off I reluctantly said yes. I knew it was wrong but I can honestly say I didnt invite him, nor suggest that he would be welcome at my home.

So yes - This is so not like me that I am panicking. I don't know what triggered it but it's like I am on some self destruct path at the moment. Since Tuesdays "unpleasantness" I havent been out with work people as clearly it is a bad idea for me. I am widening my circle of friends and plan on figuring out why I have suddenly gone loco.

I miss my sister and my family and I am venting on TS because I don't want to burden anyone else with my bullshit, this way - you can all tell me I am a fruit loop - and that will be the end of it

The End

pm incoming!!!!

hahaha

[Ange]

Do you think we should get the boys to submit their applications for the position of Honorary Camping Token Male?

Definitely.

The candidate will be:-

- the killer of any large or poisonus snakes, spiders within the general vicinity. There is no capturing it and placing it 'safely' away from the camp for it to return at 2am and bite our asses.
- The one who guts and fillets
- the one who can light the fire (we know you like this part)
- the owner of the biggest camping chair that just happens to be more comfortable than my loungeroom lazy boy
- generous with your large selection of stubby holders and not cry if someone happens to take your favourite one for a little while
- dedicated to playing through until the end of the card game, even if you are losing really badly
- respectful of designated pissing grounds

[Chach]

Put your head down, put your ass up, that's the way directors fuck

Thats how I read it.

[alba]

Definitely.

The candidate will be:-

- the killer of any large or poisonus snakes, spiders within the general vicinity. There is no capturing it and placing it 'safely' away from the camp for it to return at 2am and bite our asses.
- The one who guts and fillets
- the one who can light the fire (we know you like this part)
- the owner of the biggest camping chair that just happens to be more comfortable than my loungeroom lazy boy
- generous with your large selection of stubby holders and not cry if someone happens to take your favourite one for a little while
- dedicated to playing through until the end of the card game, even if you are losing really badly
- respectful of designated pissing grounds

check your FB messages you two
Ange, we talked about this, i am making a move to secure dates

[angelbel]

check your FB messages you two
Ange, we talked about this, i am making a move to secure dates

Yeah I got it. But FB on iPhone didn't tell me who you sent it to.
What if I say yes and then it turns out that someone else is invited who I don't want to go camping with?

[Ange]

Yeah I got it. But FB on iPhone didn't tell me who you sent it to.
What if I say yes and then it turns out that someone else is invited who I don't want to go camping with?

its me, you, damo, elmo, the dinosaur from the land before time and gary buise.

ok?

[angelbel]

its me, you, damo, elmo, the dinosaur from the land before time and gary buise.

ok?

I'm not too sure about elmo. I'm suspicious of one so red.
But then, he could provide hours of tickling entertainment by the campfire... hrmmm

[Sway]

its me, you, damo, elmo, the dinosaur from the land before time and gary buise.

ok?

which dinosaur was it? theres littlefoot, sara, ducky, petrie and spike....

i watched it not too long ago - i love that movie... the first few at least, lol

[alba]

which dinosaur was it? theres littlefoot, sara, ducky, petrie and spike....

i watched it not too long ago - i love that movie... the first few at least, lol

all of them
and their yowie mates

[Sway]

all of them
and their yowie mates

yowies are strange strange creatures...

[Chud]

Definitely.

The candidate will be:-

- the killer of any large or poisonus snakes, spiders within the general vicinity. There is no capturing it and placing it 'safely' away from the camp for it to return at 2am and bite our asses.
- The one who guts and fillets
- the one who can light the fire (we know you like this part)
- the owner of the biggest camping chair that just happens to be more comfortable than my loungeroom lazy boy
- generous with your large selection of stubby holders and not cry if someone happens to take your favourite one for a little while
- dedicated to playing through until the end of the card game, even if you are losing really badly
- respectful of designated pissing grounds

-Puts tents up
-baits hooks
-chases wolves away from campsite
-sets up traps
-digs shallow grave
-gets out of sleeping bag to chase mozzies
-holds the toilet paper for you without looking while you squat
-carries vaccines
-pulls no scary yet hilarious pranks whatsoever
-speaks when spoken to
-ripped candidate will pose sans shirt for 10 minutes every hour.
-acts as plate

[Slurm]

Please don't kill snakes. Apart from the fact its illegal, its totally unnecessary.

[Onijin]

which dinosaur was it? theres littlefoot, sara, ducky, petrie and spike....

i watched it not too long ago - i love that movie... the first few at least, lol

Baby Sinclair from Dinosaurs > Dinosaurs from Land Before Time

[Sway]

Please don't kill snakes. Apart from the fact its illegal, its totally unnecessary.

agreed.

they are freaking awesome

[ohdee]

Baby Sinclair from Dinosaurs > Dinosaurs from Land Before Time

Sorry dude but I disagree. That "i'm the baby gotta love me" was not only annoying but it was also imitatable... And imitated. Like a lot.

[angelbel]

-ripped candidate will pose sans shirt for 10 minutes every hour.

In addition to this,
- performs re-enactment of Hugh Jackman campsite water scene from Australia on command

[Bijou]

Please don't kill snakes. Apart from the fact its illegal, its totally unnecessary.

[alba]

In addition to this,
- performs re-enactment of Hugh Jackman campsite water scene from Australia on command

in addition to this,
- sings Kevin Bloody Wilson songs with a ukelele (including 25 minute mouth organ solos) until 3.30am

[Onijin]

In addition to this,
- performs re-enactment of Hugh Jackman campsite water scene from Australia on command

-pounces at dangerous animals while screaming at top of lungs Wolverine-style in attempt to frighten them off?

[Interjecta]

Fuck getting close enough to attempt killing a snake.

[angelbel]

in addition to this,
- sings Kevin Bloody Wilson songs with a ukelele (including 25 minute mouth organ solos) until 3.30am

Acutally I'd much prefer a rendition of "I Go To Rio"

[Sway]

Fuck getting close enough to attempt killing a snake.

whys that?

i looooove snakes, if i could afford the license and keeping of one - i'd have one in a second.

[Bijou]

I have decided I love Marine Iguanas..very cool.

[Sway]

btw i kicked frogmans ass on soul caliber 4 other day.

[Bijou]

Marine Iguana also kinda sounds like Marijuana.

[alba]

Acutally I'd much prefer a rendition of "I Go To Rio"

lycra flares and exposed hairy chest optional?

[Ange]

Please don't kill snakes. Apart from the fact its illegal, its totally unnecessary.

I would never condone killing a snake

[inanna]

whys that?

i looooove snakes, if i could afford the license and keeping of one - i'd have one in a second.

massive snake phobia
im terrified everytime i walk out to the toilet that there will be one in there (outhouse style toilet, have to walk through longrass to get there, 40 degree plus heat)
the other day i heard this noise and i almost ran out screaming, it was a goanna though
snakes can get fucked
hate hate hate

[sidez]

I usually drink quite a lot of master mocha but have cut down quite a bit. Instead I find myself drinking kahlua mocha with milk after work. It's both delicious and relaxing

[Ange]

-Puts tents up - fair enough 2 hands are better than one
-baits hooks - i can do this myself
-chases wolves away from campsite - wolves and vampires, yes.
-sets up traps - socially innappropriate traps?
-digs shallow grave - umm wat?
-gets out of sleeping bag to chase mozzies - helpful but we can take turns
-holds the toilet paper for you without looking while you squat - nahhhhhh its orrite aye. ill rest my bog roll on a rock.
-carries vaccines - i think someone else might prefer to play nurse or at least has the costume
-pulls no scary yet hilarious pranks whatsoever - pranks are allowed permitting they dont end with bloody wounds or uncontrollable tears of hurties.
-speaks when spoken to - this will never last
-ripped candidate will pose sans shirt for 10 minutes every hour. - if that tickles your fancy
-acts as plate - nah its ok. i got a picnic basket with all the crockery i need

responses in red

[Ange]

Marine Iguana also kinda sounds like Marijuana.

Someone was watching David Attenborough on the weekend as well

[Ange]

I would never condone killing a snake

Unless you were starved for food and you were Bear Grylls and actually had the balls to do it.

EDIT: warning ... footage may offend some.

[fredd]

responses in red

well aren't you miss independent woman 2009

talk about ungrateful!